Folly’s List of Pet Peeves

February 22, 2012 at 5:48 pm (Uncategorized)

A sure sign I don’t have anything else to write about.  As I sit and ponder new job opportunities and places to live, I realize that some things just piss me the hell off. Here they are:

1. No return emails. If I send you a resume for a job YOU advertised for or a home YOU listed for rent, do me a favor and email me back. Even if you tell me to go to hell it’s better than no response.

2. Landlords. I’m referring to the douchbags down here. Two of the ones I contacted referred to their potential tenants as “candidates.” Excuse me? Unless the place is the Taj Mahal or Exxon needs a new CEO, we are not “candidates.” We are, in fact, potential tenants. I think the next one I contact I’m going to refer to them as the “landlord candidate” and ask them why I should rent from them. Oh and NO ONE wants to rent your single wide for $2500 a month.

3.  Ads with sexual innuendos. I am not a prude. However, I saw a Liquid Plumber ad the other night that made me stop and say, “WTF?”  It was this bored housewife with a clogged drain. Doorbell rings and Mr. Hot Stuff Plumber Guy says, “I’m here to clear your drain”. Housewife squeals in delight. Seriously? That sounds like a line from a porn movie.

4.  Old People Driving. Yes, I live in the land of perpetual sunshine mixed with the scent of Ben Gay. This morning an elderly couple from Minnesota rear ended a motorcycle stopped at a light on Sugarloaf. Guess who won? Last year, a couple of elderly people mowed down a truck driver who was on the side of the road and dragged him 100 or so yards. If you are so old you can’t tell when a car is stopped or there’s someone on the side of the road, STOP DRIVING. I’ve already said I’m not driving after 70. Hell, I might stop before then.

5.  The People of Key West. Yes, I was born here but what the hell happened? It’s a mixture of crooks, drunks, and bums…on second thought, it’s just like it used to be only without pirates. It would be way cooler with pirates. I will say that the people down here (and it has to be the Yankees) just bitch constantly. Just read the newspaper. They bitch about trees, cats, iguanas, cruise ships, tourists (they have a point on this one), money, politics, development, etc. Too bad they don’t vote the losers out of office they’re always complaining about.